Hurt...

So, I left for work today and I was feeling pretty good; and to be quite honest, I was feeling just pretty. So, I got to work, and everyone was complimenting me on how I looked. It felt good to know that people thought I was pretty too. I was also feeling like all this working out, and raquett ball and cutting back, eating right, was really paying off. It made me want to keep it up. I have done a good job, and I felt good. Until...

the next thing I know a co-worker of mine, a woman, asks me if I had ever shopped at a particular store, and I said no, but I wished I had the money to go buy new clothes. She says this and everything in me sunk to the floor and I wish that I never existed. "Oh, everything there is cheap! It cost less than TJMaxx and even better they even have your sizes!! There is a really big section it goes from the women sizes and then there a big section full of your sizes. I accidently found it when I saw this cute shirt, but when I picked it up it was WAYYYY to big for me. You should go check it out!" My sizes? How big does she think I am? But as we talked she repeated this statement a couple more times and after she left I tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn't. I lied to everyone who asked me what was wrong. I didn't want them to know what she said, or even that she said it. I haven't set goals because I didn't want to get to a point where I felt like it just wasn't worth it. I didn't want to feel like what I was doing was all for nothing. Well, apparently I didn't need to. She did it. I feel like everything I have done is for nothing. Just when I think I am getting ahead, and I actually feel pretty, and for the first time I feel thinner, I am reminded of how big I actually am. Who cares that I am on the eliptical machine for 40 min every other day, I play raquettball like a mad woman. It really doesn't matter what I do, I am and forever will be big, and next time I go shopping I guess I will have to make sure they have "my sizes".