amazed

I wasn't quite sure how to title this blog, and I am still not sure that "amazed" is the best way. None-the-less (is that hyphenated?) the past few weeks have been crazy and I am amazed at what the Lord will show you thru different circumstances!

The day came, I really thought I was going to be let go from my job (again) and all I could think about was to pray, "love, joy, peace,...uhhhhh....I can't. ok...start again, Lord, please allow me to show love, have joy, strive for peace, and give me.....man. I am really struggling with this patience thing." As I struggled thru, I skipped over to "Lord, please help me to be kind, especially with my words, help me to be gentle, please help me to be faithful in my commitment of representing you today as I deal with situations that are not in my favor, and when things go bad...Please grant me....self-control."

As the week went on, I continued to struggle with praying for patience. I didn't have any and part of me didn't want any. I was worried about having a job and paying bills. But as I continued in my unbelief, and the situation worsend, others began to be a struggle on my list. "Lord, please allow me....self-....but Lord, they are being soooo unfair and none of this is my fault. How are they going to understand if I don't tell them what is going on and how things are supposed to be." ok.."Lord, please, allow me to trust in you for self....Lord, my attitude, I have every reason to be mad!!! I know that it doesn't give me a right to talk to them like that, but..." And they struggle with unbelief continued, along with it my struggle for patience, self-control, kindness, gentleness, and most important what I had prayed for concerning my faithfulness in my commitment to be a representative of Jesus Christ.

When we allow SELF to get involved it all goes down hill. I am amazed at how I acted, even though it was a really bad week and I had to fight through the whole thing, some awesome lessons were learned! Trust in the Lord, he will help you, he will guide you, and He will not abandon you to fight your own battles. The Lord is good to his people and those who dare mess with his children have the bigger worries!