life

I watched an old video I found tonight of my High School Graduation and Marching Band. I kept thinking that I wished I could just go back to High School. There are so many things that I would do differently. I would make different choices, and I probably have better friendships. There are so many people that I wish I wouldn't have allowed to take advantage of me, or treat me bad. So many people that I wish I would have taken a little time to share the gospel with. On that note, I wish that I would have let go of self-pity and self-focus long enough to focus on Christ to share the gospel and lead the life that I know now to be fruitful and fulfilling through Christ. I don't know how much of a difference that would have made, but if it were God's plan it would have happened. I know that I am not who I was then. My character has been shaped and molded for where Christ wants me to be right now, and it was shaped through the circumstances that He allowed me to go through then. There are a lot of decisions I made then, that I wouldn't now, and that encourages me to live life now in order to look back one day and say, "I wouldn't change anything I did. I am glad I made those decisions." I want to look back and not regret. I want to live life to the fullest because it goes by so quickly. I want to take advantage of every opportunity...I want my life to mean something. I don't want to look back and see nothing...I want to be able to look back and see that I have done things to advance the Kingdom of God! I want to know that I ran hard when I could have walked....I want to know that I laughed when I could have cried...and I want to know that I smiled at the most oportune times. Mostly I want to know that I loved when I could have hated in the moments that really matter.