the party ain't over

ckhnat said...
oh well THAT does it! (flayling arms up in the air) cat's out of the bag. we can all go home now. party's over!

This party isn't over yet until someone can tell me the outcome. However, unless you are one of those who know who it is, and even if you do know who it is, there is no way you can tell me that.

So no fear you party people, namely Christine, there is still adventure yet to come! Who knows what lies ahead...

until next time, ya'll be praying for me!

I finally did it!

I cracked...gave in...spilled it...I have released the name of my mystery guy! For those of you who read this and know who it is, I would appreciate you not giving any hints or names...thanks!

The problem: I have asked myself this question, and I am left wondering what in the world I am thinking! Nothing can be done about it right now, and on top of that my lack of self esteem continues to take over; I am not good enough.

Glitch: not only have I let the cat out of the bag, I think I have taken a little appreciation to someone else. (problem 2...same as problem 1)

What is my deal? I really want to be in a relationship. Why? Because I want to be very active in ministry. This is hard to do when you are single, and even harder when you are single, and a woman. Not only do I feel impatient, but I also have a lack of faith. The big challange of my life; will God provide for me a husband in order to start this ministry? People say I am still young, and this I am, but I would rather be young for most of my marriage and family experience. I really don't want to throw a frisbee to my kids and then trip over the walker I was givin at the nursing home! :) What a thought! Anyway...so potentials...there are some...some of which deserve far greater than me. And the after thought, if every guy deserves far greater than me, then what do I deserve? And the guy I marry? Hmmm something to think about...

Jesus once said to his disciples that they couldn't accomplish some task because they had to little of faith, that they only needed the faith of a mustard seed! How much faith do I have then in what I know the Lord wants me to accomplish? I only need the faith of a little bitty mustard seed and I could accomplish a lot! Again, how much faith do I have and if its only a little what am I going to do with it/

Me...

Well, I have had an interesting few weeks. I have come to realize where I am spiritually, and have also come to recognize that who I really am requires Jesus. While my quiet times with the Lord have not been in any way consistent except for the fact that they have been consistently non-existent, this has proven a life style for me that I do not like. I am depressed, and I take it out on the world around me.

About a week ago...I started having a consistent QT. I love it!!! I remembered how when I am consistent, how much joy I get in spending time with the Lord! I feel better all around. I feel motivated to live for Christ. I want every aspect of my life to reflect that motivation. I feel like I actually live that abundant life that was given to me at the time I received salvation! Jesus is amazing and working in my life to show me once again how awesome and amazing he is!

Just thinking...

What if...

1. What if all of a sudden a day went by that I didn't think I wanted to be someone else?

2. What if one day I woke up and I had all the right clothes?

3. What if one day I realized that I was finally at my perfect body weight?

4. What if one day I was finally everything I ever wanted to be and had no complaints concerning myself?

5. What if one day all of my money problems were solved and I never had to pay another bill ever again?

6. What if someone came up to me and said every bit of my school debt was paid off including any schooling I would have after I finish college?

7. What if the perfect man came around and loved me for who I am...he is the one?

If all of this happened...if all of this was exactly how I wanted it to be...would I be the same person? I wonder? ....

Update

First, I would like to apologize to all of my faithful readers. All 2 of you! (If there I more again, I apologize). I have been so busy this month and have neglected to keep up with this silly thing. Sorry, so here it is a month worth of updates...

First, I went to Georgia to spend Christmas with my dad and my brother. I was awesome. It was really busy. I worked a lot with them and we had banquets and conferences, and hundreds of people to feed almost everyday!

We had an ice storm. 2 days we went without electricity, and heat, and hot water. We were surrounded by iced over falling trees hoping that they wouldn't fall on our house. It all started early on Thursday Morning...6 am...(I know this already sounds false because I said I was up at 6 am. Well I was...so there!) Anyway...I was freezing and it was pitch black. I went back to sleep knowing that it would be back on by the time I woke up. I woke up again around 8:30 and it was still off. Now I knew something was wrong. GA Power was always good to get our power back on quickly. Little did I know that they had already been working for hours all over North GA because of the power outage caused by this unexpected ice storm. My dad and I dressed and began helping our maintenance crew cut and remove the trees from ice covered conference center. The faster we moved them the faster they fell. Finally we realized after almost get hitting by one, that it was time to head south for the winter. Before doing so we made soup and corn bread for our volunteer fire fighters who were helping our city remove all the mess. The next day we decided to head to South carolina for the day because we were still w/out. We kept ourselves busy and then finally, around midnight, we had heat and power. Dad and I had sat on the couch under layers of blankets and we were thankful when we were able to begin the process of heating up! All this in the span of one week.

Christmas was good. Lots of good gift giving. I loved it. I bought my brother something he liked...miracles always happen at Christmas. My dad liked his gifts too. Anyway, I love my gifts. It was a good Christmas just the three of us. We saw King Kong (PLUG: GO SEE IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!!!!) Anyway...

So here I am now...by in good ol' L-ville, Ky! I am homesick! I want to go back home! Anyway...all will be better when school starts! Anyway...hopefully I didn't leave anything out! Anyway...I hope to talk to you all soon!

Happy New Year!