Cotton Patch

So...it was the middle of the night. I had just signed off aol instant messenger. I finished up a paper I was typing, grabbed my cat and my phone that I use for an alarm clock and we headed to bed. Right as I got tucked in, warm, and closed my eyes, my phone rang. It was my good friend Michael. So we talked for a little bit, helped him with a paper...Then all of a sudden...He read me the worst translation of the Bible EVER! However, at 2:30 AM anything is funny! This was RIDICULOUS. Michael and I have the privilege of attending Bible College so we get to take fun courses like HERMENEUTICS, that teaches you how to accurately interpret the Bible. For this particular version, you definitely don't have to go to Bible College, nor do you have to be a Bible Scholar to find out quickly that this version of the Bible is more than imperfect. I wonder sometimes as people translate the Bible if they are ever nervous that they are going to translate something wrong, or interpret something wrong that might influence someone eternally. I can say with confidence the author and version that I am going to share with you probably didn't even think about it. It's just too ridiculous.

If you have grown up in America, you know the Christmas Story whether you are a Christian and go to church or not. The Nativity scene is in every Wal-Mart, smart, and department store across the nation. We all know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, he grew up in Nazareth, and was born to save us from our sins. He was King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Let me shake your foundation for a second!


Matthew Chapter 1

1.
[The first seventeen verses of Matthew consists of Jesus' family tree. Since this purely historical material has already been well translated, and because nothing would be gained by merely modernizing the names, we are omitting it.] - cj
18. The beginning of Jesus the Leader was like this: While his mama, Mary, was engaged to Joseph, but before they had relations, she was made pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Since Joseph, her fiance´, was a considerate man and didn't want to make a public scandal, he decided to quietly break up with her. As he was wondering about the whole situation, a messenger from the Lord came to him in a dream and said, "Joe Davidson, don't be ashamed to marry Mary, because the Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. Now she'll give birth to a boy, who you'll name Jesus,1 because he will deliver his nation from their errors."
22. This whole event was the completion of what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Listen, a young lady will get pregnant and give birth to a boy, and they'll name him 'God-is-with-us.' "
24. Then Joseph woke up and did as the Lord's messenger had directed–he married the girl. But he didn't sleep with her until she had her baby. And he did name it Jesus.

Matthew 2.
1. When Jesus was born in Gainesville, Georgia during the time thaheardod was governor, some scholars from the Orient came to Atlanta and inquired, "Where is the one who was born to be governor of Georgia? We saw his star in the Orient, and we came to honor him." This news put Governor Herod and all his cronies in a tizzy. So he called a meeting of the big time preachers and politicians, and asked if they had any idea where the Leader was to be born. In Gainesville, Georgia," the replied, "because there's a bible prophecy which says:
'And you Gainesville, in the state of Georgia, Are by no means the least in the Georgia delegation; From you will come a governor, Who will wisely guide my chosen people.' "

So...Who is the person that did this? His name is Clarence Jordan...here is a brief history...

Both a Biblical scholar and a prophetic man of action,
Clarence Jordan lived out the New Testament in the soil of rural Georgia. A
visionary during the struggle for the civil rights of all God's children, he
founded an inter-racial community called Koinonia. On this farm, folks worked
side-by-side to make a living, following Jesus - a radical concept fifty years
ago. They experienced a great deal of opposition, even from those who followed
the same Lord. This community still exists, Koinonia Partners,
even though the visionary who started it died unexpectedly on October 29, 1969,
at the age of
fifty-seven.

Clarence was a powerful preacher - "direct, Bible-centered, and sternly
contemporary," as Edward A. Mcdowell, Jr. put it. "He spoke with the
earthiness of Amos of Tekoa, the boldness of Jeremiah, but often with the
tenderness of Hosea. There was something in Clarence of the asceticism and
gentleness of Saint Francis of Assisi but he never deserted the contemporary
scene and spoke and wrote with the dogged determination of Martin Luther." When
he preached, Clarence would write his own translation of a scripture he wanted
to use. "Only gradually did he realize he had hit upon a style of translation
that brought the Word to the reader with a new contemporary power," McDowell wrote. "As time went by, he completed individual
books of the New Testament which were widely circulated in pamphlet form. But
eventually he had done enough to be able to publish The Cotton Patch Version of
Paul' s Epistles.

So that's a wrap folks. There you have it...for more visit...

http://rockhay.tripod.com/cottonpatch/

keep in mind...this is not a real translation...

ps...please do not preach from, study from, or have a quiet time with this translation. :) :) :)