What on Earth am I thinking?

I had 6 and a half hours today to think about something constructive. I failed. I thought about everything and nothing at the same time. I thought about my money situation. I thought about school. I thought about my mystery guy and I prayed that the Lord would keep him safe, grow him, and continue you turning him into the man that God desries for him to be. I thought about my church situation and how glad I am that I am finally able to move on. All of these wonderful things, but realizing that I could have thought and focused a lot more on what God wants me to do with my life. Where does he want me to go? How can I grow closer to him? In what ways can I better encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ? I hope that next time I have have that much time, I improve the use of that time.

My mystery guy and my contentness in being single(oxymoron maybe?)

yet again I have been asked (by different people) who this mystery guy is. Well, I am still not letting the cat out of the bag. I am interested myself to see where this is going to go. I think for right now, strangely, I don't want it to go anywhere. I was thinking to myself that I am perfectly fine where I am. Single. I like being able to do what I want to do and go where I want to go when I want to. To say the least, I am not happy with the way I look, but for all my life I've wanted to change the way I look just to impress the guys that I am interested in. I have reached a point where I am sick of doing that. I just want to be me. If I am ever to loose weight it will be for me and not some silly guy that I want to impress. Unfortunatley, I have been playing that game a long time, and realize they probably wouldn't like me even if I were smaller. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I am ok being single, for real, for the first time in my life. If God desires for me to be married, I am totally ok with that. If not, well, I will teach in an Elementary Kindergarden class or become a nanny for my own fulfillment of having kids, and not being able to have them on my own.
Do you have to be called to celebacy in oder to know you will be single for the rest of your life. Yes, but I don't feel called to celebacy, I just feel called to singleness for right now. Hopefully God will place an amazing man in my path for me to marry. I don't know when, and I don't know who, or how, but hopefully someday he'll come.
As I look around at different dating relationships that have gone bad, are bad, and have just ceased to exist I remember the hurt of my last relationship. I don't care to go through that again. The next time I date someone I want it to be for forever. I don't want another break up ever in my life.
On the fun side: My mystery guy is great. We'll see where God leads us and where he would have us to go. Who knows...