Shaken?

Tonight after work some co-workers and I were discussing some pretty tough issues pertaining to salvation, eternal security and mainly baptism. I was discouraged the longer we talked because I didn't feel like I was saying the right things, and when I was asked to prove something from scripture I couldn't. It was something I felt like I should know. I wasn't asked to list and explain the 5 points of Calvinism for Pete's sake! I was just asked to show him why I believed in a believers baptism! I have sat in class after class where this arguement has been discussed! This should have been cake!!! Being extremely vulnerable at the point I broke down crying. One of the people I was talking to said I was crying because I was questioning everything I was ever taught, and I proceeded with the following, (this is actually kinda funny) I said, "I am not crying because I am questioning my beliefs! I know what I believe and I believe it with all my heart! I know its in there! I am crying because I have spent almost 6 years in BIBLE COLLEGE and I have nothing to say! I just wasted like 12,000 dollars or something!" We all laughed...agreed to disagree...called it a night and decided to talk about it more later! It was actually kinda funny. I am glad that I know them and they know me as well as we do! Thank goodness for opportunities of humbleness! I think sometimes being a Bible College, or Seminary student we get prideful. "I'm in Bible College so I know more (or better) than you" or some variation of that. I know I did at the very beginning because I didn't even know that this guy was a Christian. I "thought" I had the upper hand. He pulled out the big guns and definitely sunk my battleship.

UNABLE TO GET MOTIVATED!

So, finals are this week, yet I can't seem to get myself to study! That's a problem. I do this at the end of every semester! I just want to be done already! I am learning amazing things, but I just can't seem to get into study mode in order to remember everything I need to for my finals. Yikes!

Thanksgiving was great and I enjoyed every second of it. I really miss haning out with my dad and my brother. I am actually getting homesick thinking about it! Anyway, so it was nice. I love my family, and as I think about the time that has gone by that I haven't seen them it makes me sad. I am also thinking of the rest of my family that lives in Colorado. So much time has passed. My cousin, who is 17 now, is getting ready to graduate from HS and move on to college! What happened to the little boy who always hung at my side? My other cousin Austin suffers from terminal brain damage is getting worse and I know that my aunt and uncle could use some help, and I know he doesn't have much time left...where am I? There is just so much that I feel I have missed in the lives of my family. I love them so much and I hope to be with them soon!

Anyway, I think my procrastinating has gone on way too long.

Until next time...

Happy Thanksgiving!

I've been in Georgia all week! I hope to update soon! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!!

And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, "Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, THE WIFE OF URIAH THE HITTITE?" 2 Sam 11:3

I was reading a book this week by Francine Rivers called "Unspoken" about David and Bathsheba. I was reminded of God's mercy and Grace. In the book, after the death of her first child Bathsheba turns to the Lord. She is sorry for the death of her son, and for the whole situation. Bathsheba comes to a point where she is trusting in the Lord and relies upon him for strength. I read this prayer by Bathsheba as she is worshipping. This was after David had taken her for a wife and everyone knows about the adultry between her and David, and the murder of Uriah. Bathsheba goes to worshio the Lord and prays to him:

But, O , how can I ever hold my head up again? When I sing praises to You, Lord, people glare at me as though I'm blaspheming. They came to worship You and see me among the women, and thier hearts are turned away from you as they nurture thoughts of vengence.

This was a huge wake up call to me. Am I living my life so that when the people around me see me worshiping they don't see it as blasphemous or hypocritical. May I never give anyone a reason for their heart to be turned from God during worship because of my sin. I want to set an example of godliness, truth, and righteousness. I can't do this on my own, but with God's help I can overcome sin and temptation. He does provide ways out, its just up to us to take notice of those ways and then take them. We always justify our sin to make it right in our own eyes, and "thier is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death." Christ is our strength and through him we can do anything.

In the end, David and Bathsheba both learned of God's greater mercy and forgiveness, and I am reminded that the same forgiveness that was extended to King David and Bathsheba can also be extended to me if I will only ask. More importantly, his strength is also available in order for me to overcome sin and temptation, but when I fail, his mercy and forgiveness awaits me.

I am outta ideas!

I haven't developed any new ideas, and since the last blog I have officially been called a geek...not so inspiring~ (I love you Viv) Anyway, I am working on something for the next one...it won't be too much longer, hang in there...

Ever had one of these days?

So, I was thinking that I consider myself a pretty up beat, fun girl. I am in a good mood the majority of the time, kinda like, say... Elmo! Elmo is a good guy! He likes to laugh! (Hence the "tickle me Elmo!) Anyway, this provoked thoughts on grouchiness. As Christians we have a greater hope that excludes grouchiness. You'll find, like Elmo, that we aren't cut out for grouchiness...(It's at these times I wish I new how to import music into my blogs...)

Elmo is talking with Grizzy and Grouch:

Grizzy: Elmo, what do you think it takes to be a grouch?

Elmo: Well, Elmo could sing about it!

Grizzy: I can't wait to hear this...(no enthusiam...)

Grouch: This could be a mistake!!

(Song)

Elmo: If you wake up in the morning mean and grumpy, and you frown at everybody that you see (Blleeeaahhh) (Grizzy): and if you like your oatmeal nice and cold and lumpy, then you're a grouch like me. If you love it when it's wet and cold and rainy, and the music that you like is all off key (la la la) Elmo: and your happiest whenever you're complaining, then you're a grouch like me (and Grizzy) If you hate it when your grandma kisses you (muuuah) you know what? Elmo too! Grizzy: If you LOVE to watch a garbage truck roll by, you know what kid? So do I! Elmo: And if you think that great big pile of trash is pretty (Grouch: pretty awful) Grizzy: and that ice cream is as yucky as can be (Elmo: yuck! yuck! yuck!) Grouch: If you just can't stand a cuddly little kitty, then you're a grouch like me (and Oscar!)

Grizzy, Elmo, and Grouch resume talking:

Grizzy: Elmo, I think you are getting the hang of it, but I don't think you could be a grouch.

Elmo: Why not?

Grizzy: Well look at ya! You're so sweet and cute, and...Oh Oscar look at this he's dancing!

Oscar: He's dancing!?

Grizzy: Yeah! Dancing!!

Oscar: Stop Dancing!!

(singing) And if you think that great big pile of trash is pretty, and and that ice cream is as yucky as can be, and if you just can't stand a cuddly little kitty Grouch: and you'd like to chase it up the nearest tree (elmo: Oscar!!) Then you're a grouch like me!

Elmo: Oscar, what did you think of Elmo's grouchiness?

Oscar: Why, it was AWFUL!

Elmo: Thank you Oscar! A grouch like Elmo! Have a rotton day!

Oscar: Now that's my boy!

Like Elmo I find after hearing this song that I too am not good at being a grouch! I love cuddly kitties and I can't stand the site of trash!! As Christians we are to end up like Elmo (awful at being grouchy!!) We are called to enjoy abundant life through Christ, and that doesn't include grouchiness!! We shouldn't be "happiest when we're complaining" We should be happiest when we are enjoying the life that God so graciously gave! I hope all of you have a rotton..I mean great day!!! )hehehe

Newer Attitude

Ahhh! Lord, grant me patience, wisdom, and direction! Please pray for me and my work situation! I am having trouble with my attitude! I can't seem to conquor not being completely frustrated with a girl who never does anything! As a matter of fact confesses to "doing as little as possible" Grrr...She's a mess, never cleans up after herself, and those of you who know me even kinda well, know how I feel about messes!!!! I come in everyday, clean up after her, and then proceed to do all the work that she should have done while she was here for 8 hours prior to her coming in!!! Anyway, please pray for me. I don't know what to do or say. I want to talk to the managers, but I am not sure that it would mean a hill of beans!! I know that in all of this, right or wrong, God desires a pure heart, and holiness. God doesn't require me to be nice to her, but he requires me to model Christ, and having an attitude to glorify His name. I pray that my attitude would reflect the name of Christ, not my frustrations.

New Attitude

I seriously need an attitude adjustment! It has been so bad every time I come into work. There are just some people here that I don't get along with for various reasons. I just pray everyday that my attitude that would be that of Christ and not myself. I love my job and I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me here. I was able to go bowling with some co-workers Sunday night and their families. It was awesome. I hope that we do something like that again.

I want so much to have a good attitude, but some people make it difficult. I am sure however that Christ ran into the same situation. He still had a good attitude. He never sinned. Even when they were mocking him and beating him for something he didn't do, that would have been the time to have a bad attitude!! But no, he suffered and died a perfect man who carried sins to be forgiven by the Father in order that we might come to know him. Thinking about it that way...there shouls be no reason for me to have a bad attitude!

I was definitley in "A world of my own" today...

Cats and Rabbits would reside in fancy little houses
and be dressed in shoes and hats and trouses
in a world of my own
all the flowers
would have very extra special powers
they would sit and talk to me for hours
when im lonely in a world of my own
there'd be new birds
lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds
everyone would have a dozen blue birds
within that world of my own
i could listen to a beddling brook
and hear a song that i could understand
i keep wishing it could be that way
because my world would be a wonderland
[Thanks to zestykat@aol.com for lyrics]

"Whether or not a guy (person) likes you is not a measure of your worth"

This was some very encouraging advice given by an amazing brother in Christ. If my worth does not come from another person who does it come from? This is an easy head concept, but what of the heart? If you are human, you struggle with this concept! As believers we can say all day long that our worth is in Christ. However, how often does that go from our head to our heart? In my case, not often enough. Our worth comes from the Holy One. The creator of the universe!! His love for me has never been so real as I read this passage of scripture.

Isaiah 43

1.But now, THUS SAYS THE LORD, your CREATOR, O Jacob, and he who formed you, O Israel. "Do not fear, for I HAVE REDEEMED YOU; I have called you BY NAME; YOU ARE MINE!"

How amazing that God takes such possession over the ones whom he has created. For those who think that God created the universe and all of creation and then just left it...this throws that idea straight out the window!! It even says "Thus says the Lord, your CREATOR"...then proceeds to say "YOU ARE MINE!!" How amazing!

2. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you."

3. "For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, YOUR SAVIOR; I have given Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in your place.

4. "Since YOU ARE PRECIOUS IN MY SIGHT, since you are HONORED and I LOVE YOU I will GIVE OTHER MEN IN YOUR PLACE AND OTHER PEOPLES IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR LIFE."

How awesome is that? God says "I love you so much that I am willing to sacrifice the lives of others in order to protect and save you."

Where does my worth come from? A Holy God who would give other people in exchange for my life. He created me for his glory (v7) and I have no Savior besides Him (v 11). There was no one before him, nor will there be anyone after him. He is GOD, and there is no one who can take me away from Him. He loves me and I am His! (vs 1, 10, 12, and 13)

You are more beautiful than anyone ever.

Every day you're the same,

you never change, no never.

How could I ever deny the love of my Savior?

You are to me everything, all I need forever.

How could you be so good?

There is no one like you.

There has never, ever been anyone like you.

Everywhere You are there earth or air surrounding

I'm not alone the heavens sing along

My God You're so astounding

How could You be so good to me

Eternally I believe that

There is no one, no one like You

There has never ever been anyone like You

Artist: Barlow Girl

"...Before me there was no God formed,

And there will be none after me

I, even I, am the Lord,

and there is no Savior besides me...

Even from eternity I AM HE.."

Isaiah 43:10-11, 13